Once a woman decides that she has had enough of marriage and opts to walk out, it is not always easy as it is said especially for those partners who have lived together for quite some years.
This is because divorce involves added responsibilities in terms of finances, care of children and instilling of discipline, taking them to school and above all change of roles to a single woman.
It is a bombshell of a lifetime because mostly, it is the time that the children are in their teen and preteen stages. They also have challenges that need to be handled with care at this age. When divorce sets in, children get disoriented and confused, they lose focus in their school and social life, and they get hurt by the unexpected turn of events.
However, women who divorce after 40 may have to lead a miserable life for the time they were in marriage and divorce could be the best thing that ever happened in their life.
Some reasons to justify divorce after 40 are;
- Building Confidence.
Out of the hurts experienced in marriage, women lose self-confidence, and all the solutions to the family’s problems lie with the husband. But the minute the woman divorces at 40, she is already a mature person in age, and when critical decisions must be made, she can stand boldly and make such a decision even before a conference. This confidence can make the woman be who she was destined to be before marriage. It also helps the woman understand that post-divorce life can be exciting and she can stand on her own.
- She has the freedom to travel all alone by herself.
Mostly she may have never experienced what it is like to travel. This could be due to a dictating husband who believed in a stay at home mom who must stay indoors 24/7.
Travelling will help one to understand new cultures, learn about the modern woman and set an example to the whole world that you are an icon to be watched as you invent new ways of life.
- You will be more ambitious.
To be a stay at home mom and raising kids cannot open doors for new opportunities. Quite often, a dictatorial man will see to it that his wife stays indoors, have no exposure to the world and he will use the opportunity to abuse her at will. However, as she takes up divorce, she will have new responsibilities, look for a job and meet with women of her status. This will render her to become more ambitious and stop being the woman that was looked down at in the previous life.
- A woman at 40 can put her needs first.
While in the earlier years of the 20s and 30s were discovery years, 40 is an age that you know who you are and you know your worth. As such, it is easier to put your needs first and settle for the best. This is a time that you can purpose to invest for your children’s future and especially in instances where you have their custody.
Is it possible to start over after divorce at 40?
Moving on after divorce is a challenging affair and it needs confidence for the woman to evaluate her worth, then rise and start over all again. Mostly out of fear, she may feel overwhelmed and think that it’s not going to be well. At times, this becomes a condition of depression and even death.
However, it’s essential to look at some pointers about how to start over after a divorce after 40 (according to the site):
- Rebuild one’s self-esteem. Leaving your family that you have natured for many years is not easy and quite often, a woman may lose her self-esteem, feel like an outcast and may even lock herself in the house to cry the whole day alone. But since this will not solve a problem, the best option is to build self-esteem.
Sharing your pain with friends and relatives who understand you is a solution. Putting down your pains and releasing them with a pen and paper can also be an excellent remedy.
- Share out your Vision with the children. Being the custodian of the children, they ought to know why you left home. Let them understand that you are now divorced because at 40 they are teenagers who can sit and be told of the new developments. Share with them about their great future and work as a family towards attaining your goals.
- Keep off from past life. Many women will have a sense of guilt and may keep talking with their Ex. This will only add pain to the past hurts. Learn to live by yourself; do not be concerned about his relationship with others. For instance, women keep following up to know if the Ex-husband is dating which ignites more pain than before. Create an environment which he will not be a party to you and allow your heart to move on.
Can a woman find love after divorce after 40?
Dating after 40 can never be an easy task in as much one is looking for that romance encounter. But still, the answer remains that you can again date after 40 after divorce and yet have a love life that is fulfilling.
It all depends on the perspective that you intend to take as a woman. One of the most significant challenges is to break out to the kids that she has found a new love and would be happy to move on with him.
However, life is about yourself; you will live it once and should enjoy it to the best. When I visited my friend who divorced two years ago when she was 40, I found a very excited woman, and this is what she had to say after finding love once again.
1. Never carry the past hurts to the present life.
Once you have purposed and made a decision on divorce, take a turn around and allow your heart to heal, Leave all the cares and burdens aside and let your heart be happy.
Once bitterness is gone, finding and accommodating a new love life will not be a challenge and creating an environment that is full of love led to her getting a man who has brought the joy that she had never experienced in the past marriage.
2. Be open to dating different Age groups.
When at the age of 20s peer groups were all around. However, 40 is an age with a specialty bearing in mind that most people are married. The only people available are old singles, widowers or men who are younger than 40. Be open to any age group that is mature enough to offer the love that you so much desire to have and this will be the only breakthrough to your love life.
Be considerate about the distance because they may be living far from where you stay but since you are out for love, sacrifice that penny and visit him. This will add flavor to the newly found love.
3. Manage expectations.
Many women who divorce at 40 may wish to move on with their career. This can be a hindrance to dating at their age, but as you progress in your career, don’t allow expectations from the man you are dating disappoint you. Progress in a career that went dormant but also gives space to the man you are in love with to express his love too.
4. Be truly ready that you can start a relationship.
Emotions and bitterness that drive the heart of a woman can lead you to fall into a trap where you can jump in a new relationship and hurt more. Before starting the new relationship, allow yourself to heal from the past hurts, and have a deep focus for your life. This will help you make a decision and get to know if you are ripe, the wisdom you have put in place in the past plus the mistakes you made will be a guiding factor as to whether you are on the right path towards a new relationship.
5. Join dating sites.
Most of the dating sites are meant to be for people who are 40 and beyond. Numerous websites have all the information that you require to get the new love of your life. One can join a multiple of these sites and research for the type of a person you would want to date with.
Dating after a divorce can be an expensive affair emotionally, but as soon as you make up your mind and let go off your past hurts, then dating after 40 can be the best experience ever. Life will be sweeter, and you will enjoy every bit of the relationship you are in.
Life after divorce for Women over 40 can be the most enjoyable life. The fact that you have self-discovered yourself, walked out of past hurts, have children to cater for and advance in your career, gives you a sense of reassurance that you are in the right path.
Making decisions by yourself without politicking at home can turn out to be the best time to reinvent yourself for a better future ahead.