Being kind to someone can give you faith in humanity, improve your mental health
Reported December 26, 2007
TORONTO – A random act of kindness, such as smiling at someone or shovelling snow or cutting the grass for an elderly neighbour, “gives you faith in humanity,” says the organizer of a kindness campaign.
It’s also good for your mental health when you’re kind to someone else, says Leisa Miness, of the Canadian Mental Health Association branch in Portage la Prairie, Man.
For Mental Health Awareness Week in May, the branch is planning to hold another pay-kindness-forward campaign after an effort this past spring turned out to be a huge success, she said.
It was such a hit, said Don Boddy, president of the association’s central division, that other branches in Manitoba have expressed an interest in conducting similar events.
Residents were asked to perform three acts of kindness. Miness and Boddy did three each to help get things going.
“We then gave to those people three cards each (that) asked them to pay it forward,” she said. The organizers kept track of the acts.
People e-mailed or phoned to tell them what they had done, said Boddy. “It was extremely successful and grew far bigger than we expected.”
What they found, said Miness, was that at the end of the week, although most of the acts were little things, “it really felt good for everyone.”
A sampling: ” ‘I did some gardening.’ ‘I delivered some groceries.’ ‘It was a hot day so we delivered slurpies to a hospital ward where there was no air conditioning.’ “
Miness said taking part also helped her. “Absolutely … it’s the old saying : it only takes one person to change the world.”
While only the Portage la Prairie branch held the campaign, the idea is catching on, said Boddy.
“Other regions also want to do it,” he said. “We did it because there’s a very direct connection to people’s sense of mental health.”
Statistics show that one in five Canadians suffer from some kind of mental problem such as depression or bipolar disorder, said Tracy Ryan, executive director of the New Brunswick division of the CMHA.
And four out of five will be affected by it, she said.
“I may have a mental illness but my neighbour, my child, my husband, my co-workers will all be affected by it.”
Deborah and Ron Seigel are also proponents of the kindness concept. They set up the Acts of Kindness Network in Burlington, Ont., in 2002 in memory of her mother who had bipolar disorder.
Now they have operations in at least 11 countries.
Their journey began when Deborah Seigel invited her colleagues in the fashion industry to extend an act of kindness to support Bethany Residence, a group residence for those touched by mental illness.
“The needs,” she said, “just keep growing every year.”
“We invite community to support community with time, talent and tangible goods.”
A company might have something in its inventory, such as furniture, to donate, while an individual could lend support by grocery shopping or sharing a skill or talent – for instance, by teaching yoga, she said.
The Seigels receive wish lists of people in need from the 17 different agencies that they support including Bethany Residence, the Salvation Army Lighthouse Shelter and Kidsfest Canada.
Then they invite businesses, individuals, churches or social service clubs “to extend an act of kindness and donate whatever is on our wish list,” said Ron Seigel.
The response, he said, has been phenomenal.
“Everybody has a heart, (with) some people you’ve just got to peel back a few more layers.”
Psychotherapist Piero Ferrucci, in his new book “The Power of Kindness” (Jeremy P.Tarcher/Penguin), says kindness is a multifaceted thing.
It includes elements such as honesty, warmth, forgiveness, contact, sense of belonging, trust, mindfulness, empathy, humility, patience, generosity, respect, flexibility, memory, loyalty, gratitude, service and joy.
Studies show, he says, that altruistic people often enjoy better health, and the elderly who can talk more with others have less probability of contracting Alzheimer’s disease.
“If we relate better with others, we feel better,” he writes.
So what does kindness do for the giver and the receiver?
Deborah Seigel says she and her husband have mentored a “wonderful” woman over the past seven years, who like her mother has bipolar disorder.
“As a result of our mentorship she has chosen to adopt Habitat Services to pay it forward because she understands we have given her the gift of our time, our mentorship, our love to support her on her path,” said Seigel.
“Doing good makes you feel good.”
Toronto-based Habitat Services helps to improve housing standards for those with serious mental health issues.
In the workplace, Ryan noted that people with mental illness are in need of courtesy, respect, accommodation and assistance.
Many of the mentally ill are poor, and often struggle to get treated fairly within the justice and health-care systems.
“Their legitimate concerns are sometimes not taken seriously because they have diagnosed mental illness or they’re known to the system,” Ryan said.
Holiday periods, such as Christmas-New Year’s, can be especially difficult.
“Just the stress of finances, trying to do it all, be all things to all people, be at all these parties, get rest and be there for your young family, or your aging family, parents,” said Ryan.
To achieve a sense of belonging, some people try to break out of isolation through violence, she added.
“There are many people with mental illness that will commit a crime just to get back in the system that they did feel that they belonged to, whether it’s an institution or a jail,” she said.
“They are lonely and need contact. Everybody needs contact.”
Boddy says the pay it forward campaign infiltrated a local program for young people addicted to drugs.
The staff performed acts of kindness among themselves and for the kids, and then the kids started doing acts of kindness for each other.
Members of the staff said “it was a different institution when people were thinking about … doing acts of kindness,” Boddy said.