The role of Sex in a relationship has a lot more to it than just getting physical — it’s about connecting with someone and creating and enjoying this otherworldly experience. Annabelle is an international expert and has offered advice all around the world including in Europe, India, and Australia. Sexual health is a priority for everyone.
WF team touched the ground with sex and relationship expert Annabelle Knight to gain answers to questions on how to do away with monotony and make sexual health a priority
How to build energy for the fun stuff in a relationship and do away with monotony.
Ensuring your relationship stays fun is a sure-fire way to ensure it lasts. However, sometimes ‘life’ can get in the way. Set some time aside to spend quality time with your partner and try to obey the 3,2,1 rule. Three times a month you have a date, whether that’s a bubble bath together, going out for a meal, or microwaving some popcorn and watching a film. Whatever you choose to do you need to make sure there’s no interference from the outside world, so put those phones away. Twice a week make sure you have a ‘check in’ conversation. This allows for real one-on-one time and also means that the rest of the time you can relax, knowing you’ll have time, later on, to bring up any issues. Once a day make sure you kiss! No, I’m not talking about a quick peck on the cheek, I’m talking about a passionate kiss to set the soul on fire!
Signs to notice that your sex life has dwindled.
Most people know when their sex life is suffering, however, for some, it just seems to slip away unnoticed. If you find yourself going to bed at a different time than your partner then that could be a sign that your sex life is dwindling. Other signs could be avoiding romantic touch from your partner, or creating reasons not to spend time with them in the bedroom.
The importance of sexual health for good quality of life.
Sex is great, it’s fun, helps create intimate bonds, and is fabulous for your overall health, so on that note here are my top reasons why a great sex life leads to great health.
It’s great for your immune system! Researchers at Wilkes University found that students who were sexually active were ill far less than those who weren’t thanks to the fact that having sex helps to build up flu-busting antibodies. So for fewer sick days, you should spend more time in the sack!
Women who have sex and climax regularly have better bladder control. This is due to the pelvic floor workout you get during an intercourse. The more sex you have the tighter and stronger those muscles will be, this leads to better bladder control and even stronger, more intense orgasms.
Consistent sex leads to better mental health balance thanks to the release of feel-good chemicals such as Oxytocin and Dopamine. These are the body’s naturally occurring ‘happy drugs’ which are released during intercourse and orgasm. Now if that isn’t a reason to have sex more then I don’t know what is!
Health conditions associated with sexual dysfunction.
There are several health conditions that can cause sexual dysfunction. Illnesses such as diabetes
Tips to make sexual health a priority.
- Get educated! One of the biggest obstacles to sexual wellness is the stigma around sex and pleasure. Sometimes societal norms inhibit sexual wellness, especially if you’ve grown up in a particularly conservative or religious way, or, if your school’s sex education program was, shall we say, lacking. But fear not, there is plenty of body-positive, pleasure-focused, sex educators out there to help you. There are a tonne of books out there, and loads of sex-positive websites packed with useful information. You could even look to visit your GP or sexual health provider who can work with you to help you improve your relationship with sex, and boost your sexual wellness.
- Make time for solo sessions. Masturbation is as key to a happy and healthy sex life as lime is to a good g&t! Exploring your body benefits you in so many ways, it can help boost your self-confidence and can teach you how and where you like to be stimulated, meaning future partnered sex sessions could be more fulfilling. It also helps you to understand what is ‘normal’ for you – so if there are any unusual changes you can get checked out in good time.
- Remove ‘sex’ from the table. Increasing sexual wellness can mean forgetting about it altogether. When you take penetrative, or ‘main event’ sex away from the equation intimate times become entirely pleasure-focused. They become about connecting with your partner without agenda. Indulge in sensual massage, mutual masturbation, or strip it back to good old-fashioned kissing. If sex happens then great, but it shouldn’t be your only goal.
Signs an individual is sexually satisfied or healthy?
Sexual wellness and being content with your sexuality and sex life is an entirely personal thing and each person’s experience is unique to them. If you are sexually healthy and satisfied then you will feel as though your needs are being met to a good standard. You’ll also feel listened to, appreciated, and attractive to your partner.
Why does a partner say “Not tonight, Dear”?
‘Not tonight, dear’ is a common way in which one partner tells the other that they do not want to engage in any form of sexual activity. The problem with just saying ‘not tonight’ is that it’s a rejection without reason. If you continuously deny your partner physical intimacy, or your partner continually denies you, then it can cause real problems in your relationship going forward. If you feel as though your sex life leaves a lot to be desired then it’s time to open up an honest dialogue with your partner about your individual needs and the needs of your relationship.