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Orgasm Triggers for Women and Men
For
women and men to experience sexual orgasm is a well informed knowledge based
act, which can be achieved with perfection on understanding the various triggers
that lead to such a condition of absolute ecstasy.
The groundbreaking book, A Billion Wicked Thoughts, bases its findings on the
online search queries of the millions of people who access online pornography.
What makes the book�s conclusions both newsworthy and uniquely insightful is a
combination of the sheer volume of the metrics used to collect the information
and the fact that the results do not stem from individuals� �self-reported�
data. Think of this as a modern-day Kinsey report but better because. If you ask
people about their sex lives. . . they lie! Whereas if you look at the data
about the actual content they view you get a much more viable picture of
reality. The findings are based on a high volume of actions people take instead
of statistically projecting outcomes based on what a sample of say they do.
That�s a vital and gigantic difference that gives incredible credence to the
findings.
Of the many fascinating discoveries in A Billion Wicked Thoughts is the
difference between what kind of sexual content men consume versus women. And the
authors, Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam connect the dots from online behavior all the
way back to the places in the brain the content stimulates and what the
neurobiological effects are on our relationship dynamics.
Why do you care? Because if you understand how to feed her primal sexual needs,
you can increase her self-esteem, feelings of worthiness and create a safe
environment for her to really feel into her true desires without inhibitions.
Here�s a perfect example of the difference between men and women. The first part
won�t surprise you. The data underscores what we already assume from experience.
Men like to look at a lot of images of body parts. Specifically they like to see
breasts, hips, butts and feet as well as feminine facial features. No surprise.
What�s interesting is that men enjoy seeing high volumes of individual images of
these parts, even without the rest of the body attached. Show them 100 pictures
of boobs and they are excited, whereas women are not engaged by disembodied
booties, no matter how luscious and plush. These signals of fertility are
hard-wired into the desire center of men�s brains.
Primal Sex Triggers for Women
Women, on the other hand, don�t care as much about the parts and prefer the
emotional interaction between men and women. Think �romance novel.� Romance
novels are a $Billion plus dollar a year business, as is porn. �To put these
numbers in perspective, about 100 million men in the United States and Canada
accessed online porn in 2008 � just slightly more than the number of romance
readers.� Romance is female porn.
Women want to be desired. They want to feel sexually irresistible and adored.
Those are the two fundamental psychological cues required by women to feel
attraction. A quote by Swiss author, Madame de Sta�l sums up the pull between
the male and female beautifully. . . �The desire of the man is for the woman;
the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man.�
So knucklehead, this means: Let her know you desire her! Being desired is very
arousing to a woman. Apparently, the desire to be desired �appears to be a
primal component of female sexuality, as basic as a man�s urge to chase and
seduce.� The authors go on to explain that the need to feel irresistible is the
reason women enter wet tee-shirt contests, go wild on spring break and text (sext)
their lovers sexy pictures of themselves.
The second primal trigger is the desire to be adored. The classic story arc of a
romance novel requires the hero to love the heroine for her unique and special
qualities. He would be a rogue sea captain or busy doctor or a cowboy on the
range if she wasn�t able to capture his heart with her remarkable set of
attributes. It�s for these attributes that she wants to be loved. When you focus
your appreciation on what is unique and special about her, she can truly believe
that you adore her.
�There�s a fascinating parallel between what may be the greatest sexual
self-delusion in men, and the greatest sexual self-delusion in women. Men are
quite prone to believing they are inducing feelings of erotic ecstasy in their
partner through their own sexual rowess. Women, on the other hand, are more
easily manipulated by expressions of love.� � A Billion Wicked Thoughts.
Finally, the authors made a list of all the emotional and psychological cues
required to women may need to check off their list before they can truly give
themselves over to their lust. How a man looks, including his height, his social
standing, his personality match with hers, his level of commitment to her, how
authentic he is emotionally to her (including his vulnerabilities), how
confident he is, whether he wants a similar family orientation to his woman and
what kind of family situation he comes from, his attitude toward children, his
kindness and even his smell are all of vital importance to a woman�s decision to
be sexual.
There are many cues you can share with a woman about this �laundry list� of her
perfect man that will help her feel more comfortable in making love to you,
because the more of these cues you satisfy, the more likely she is to want you.
Above all, success with a woman must be deeply entrenched in how you make her
feel adored and irresistible. Remember those two primal sex triggers.
Orgasm-Inducing Techniques Women Love
A recent study from Indiana University found that 85% of men said that their
partner had an orgasm when they had sex�while only 64% of women said that they
themselves had one. Oof. Bottom line: while you think you might be pleasing her,
more often than not, you�re missing the mark. �Women know that most guys want
them to reach O-land, and they don't want to disappoint,� says Dorian Solot, a
sex educator and co-author of I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm
Guide. �So all too often, women fake orgasms, or just let their partner assume
they had one.� If you want to guarantee the real deal, stick to these nine
positions that will work every time.
Missionary
According to sex experts, women get the most pleasure out of basic missionary
sex. �Interestingly, when we surveyed women, good old-fashioned missionary
position was the overall favorite. There's nothing fancy about it, but women
said they loved the closeness and the intimacy of having their partner's weight
on them,� says Solot. But in order for position to be most effective, Los
Angeles-based sex expert and radio host Lora Somoza says to make sure you�re
entering her at the correct angle. �By going in diagonally�rather than straight
in and out�there�s more friction for clitorial stimulation, which is best, since
that�s how most women achieve orgasm.�
Reverse Cowgirl
In this position, the man is either lying down or in a sitting position, and the
female straddles him backwards � facing his feet instead of his face. It�s a key
position that also allows easy access to the clitoris, says sexologist and
sexuality educator Megan Andelloux. �Because of the easier clitoral access, this
position is the one that is most likely to facilitate an orgasm because direct
clitoral stimulation is easy to engage in.�
Doggie Style
Doggie style is a great position for the woman because it allows her to have
optimal control. �She is able to adjust her range of motion for an angle that
feels best,� says Amy Levine, a sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure.
�He can likely stimulate her G-spot and have access to her clitoris with his
hand, her hand or a toy, like a small bullet-shaped vibrator.� Sexologist Gloria
Brame, Ph.D. also stresses the importance of clitoral stimulation while in the
doggie style position. �She will rarely have an orgasm if you�re not doing
something manually in front at the same time,� she says.
Girl on Top
Another position that allows her to have the most control of her orgasm is when
she�s the one on top, facing forward. But Somoza explains that it still needs to
be a joint effort. �You can help her by moving her hips up and down. It�s a
communication thing,� she says. Levine adds that when the woman is on top,
�she�s in control of the depth and motion, as well as having easy access to her
clitoris for pleasure.�
Spooning
If your lady doesn�t prefer deep penetration, Andelloux suggests spooning. It�s
also good �if you�re into lazy morning Sunday sex playtime. It concentrates on
stimulation of the front portion of the vagina or rectum, which is where the
most nerves are located in the genitals.� Andelloux explains that spooning is
pleasurable because it creates a tighter fit in the vagina and rectum, so if a
woman is looking for more stimulation from her partner�s fingers or penis...
spoon away.
Crisscross
According to Marshall Miller, a sex educator and co-author of I Love Female
Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide, this is another great position for
clitoral stimulation. �Both partners are lying down. The woman is on her back
and the guy is on his side. She has her legs draped over his middle like a giant
X,� he says. �Since your bodies aren't squished against each other, either you
or she can reach down to rub her clitoris, what most women need to reach the Big
O.�
The Pillow Technique
Many sex experts agree that positions often become more pleasurable for a woman
when a pillow or blanket is added to create a new angle of entry. In missionary,
Levine says to �put a pillow under her tush to give a pelvic lift. That can also
help the man rub her g-spot with his penis.� Dr. Brame says it�s a tip that is
often underutilized, and that you can even use furniture or yoga props. �Certain
angles for some women won�t be comfortable,� he says. �Ask her what is working
for her.�
Coital Alignment Technique
This position, created by psychotherapist Edward Eichel, is considered by many
to be the �greatest sex position in the world.� Start in a normal missionary
position with your full body weight on top of the woman, not resting on your
elbows. Move forward so that the base of your penis (your pubic bone) is making
direct contact with her clitoris. Her legs should be around your thighs and you
should be moving together in a rhythmic, rocking motion. �Some swear that this
position allows for the closest physical connection and the best clitoral
stimulation based on his positioning,� says Levine.
Ankles Up
�When you�re on top of somebody or flat, you can�t always achieve full
penetration,� says Dr. Brame�which is why adjusting her leg positioning allows
for deeper contact. �You have to put her ankles up over your shoulders. It
allows you to go as deep inside of her as possible and hit her G-spot.� The same
deepness can also be achieved by her bending her knees or placing the soles of
her feet on your chest.
As males are very aggressive when it comes to sex, they ejaculate rather sooner
as compared to females. Females only orgasm when they enjoy intercourse or
masturbation at their full. Making a female orgasm is a complicated task which
requires lot of expertise and education along with few tricks and tips in your
mind. Practicing new positions during intercourse, talking to them during sex,
etc are few examples that can help a female feel more pleasure which further may
help her getting great orgasm.
Different females have different hot spots. Hot spots means the sensitive points
in her body which, when touched or mingled with, can make them go crazy.
Different hot spots in a female�s body can be earlobes, navel, nose tip,
buttocks, etc. Whenever a partner touches or caresses these hot spots it helps
the female experiencing utmost pleasure and thus concluding the sexual
intercourse with joyful orgasm and ultimate satisfaction. Male partner should
explore her female partner to find out the hot spots of her body. Also, many
females fanaticize males in some special positions.
These positions can be blindfolded male, hand-cuffed partner, etc. Men should
always respect these fantasies of their female partners as this would help both
of them leading a happily married life together. There are few tools and induce
liquid available in the market which helps females to experience the pleasure of
ultimate climax. Theseinduce liquid can be bought online and inexpensive.
It bring ultimate pleasure and joy to the female partner. As mentioned earlier,
talking to a female partner during the process of intercourse, in some cases,
help the partner enjoy even more pleasure.Topics of these talks should be
related to sex, romance and erotic scenefrom any movie, etc. While talking, one
should keep in mind that talking about the topic should be well aligned with the
rhythm of the intercourse.
This is because good rhythm and appropriate talks can also driver female partner
crazy in the bed. To add more to it, combination of various sex toys, sex drops
,romantic talks and new positions during intercourse can make a female partner
ejaculate with more satisfaction and can develop even more intimacy in her
towards her partner, which could further help making the relationship between
two even more stronger.
There can be many ways a person can use to satisfy his female partner up to her
full. The only thing required in this regard is to know what the hot spots of a
partner are and what are the things, words or induce liquid that can drive her
crazy in the bed. One can explore these by giving more time to the partner,
talking to her and by experiences which a male gains when getting involved with
his partner on regular basis.
Things which almost all woman wishes men did more of it in bed
Giving her an Orgasm before intercourse start
This is far and away the biggest thing women wish men did more of in bed. Most
men don�t do this � instead, they clumsily plow straight to intercourse as fast
as possible. This means that �foreplay� usually consists of a few minutes of
obligatory kissing, followed by a few minutes of obligatory breast stimulation,
followed by a few minutes of obligatory cunnilingus until the ultimate goal of
intercourse is reached. This isn�t what women want!
If you can give her an orgasm before you penetrate her, then it�s guaranteed to
be good sex in her book, even if you don�t last as long as you�d like. And on
top of this, giving her an orgasm will make her more responsive and much more
likely to have another orgasm during intercourse. Sex becomes better for you,
and for her.
Paying attention to non-obvious erogenous zones
Most men only pay attention to the �obvious� spots on a woman�s body when trying
to give her sexual pleasure, like the breasts, clitoris and g-spot. But women
don�t want you to only pay attention to these spots � they want you to pay
attention to their whole body.
This is because there are 16 other �hidden� erogenous zones on her body which
can give her pleasure, and which can actually make her more sensitive to vaginal
stimulation. Most men don�t know about these � but if you�re one of the rare men
who does, then she�ll be screaming your name in pleasure.
Lasting longer in bed
We've been told that �women don�t mind if you don�t last that long in bed, as
long as you�re good with your fingers� and that it�s OK for a man to only last a
few minutes in bed. This is a big steaming heap of BS.
Women hate it when a man shoots off too soon because it prevents them from
having orgasms. How would you feel if a woman got you close to an orgasm, then
all of a sudden stopped, rolled over, and went to sleep? You need to know how to
last 30 minutes in bed at the minimum. If you really want to drive women wild,
then you should learn how to last over an hour in bed. And of course you can
have a �quickie� once in a while, but most of the time women will need a minimum
of 30 minutes of intercourse to have multiple orgasms.
Teasing her until she begs for it
From many conversations and interviews with women I know the typical man in bed
does almost no teasing. He just plows forwards directly to his goal of
intercourse with no finesse, just doing the minimum necessary to get to
penetration.
What women want is for you to build up to a sexual action with teasing until
she�s practically begging you for it. THEN give her the gratification. For
example, with oral sex most men just dive right in. What would turn her on much
more is if you kiss up her inner thighs, and breathe warmly on her vagina. Then,
so lightly she can barely feel it, run your tongue over her clitoris. Do this
until she�s pleading with you to give her more and then give her the
gratification. She�ll enjoy it about a hundred times more. This leads into the
next things women want more of in bed, which is�
More oral sex
I�m constantly amazed by how many men have told me that they don�t give women
oral sex that often, or that they don�t do it at all. The justification which
I�ve heard so many times is �it�s OK, I�m good with my fingers.�
This is like a girl telling you �I don�t give blowjobs � but it�s OK, I�m good
with my hands.� It�s just not the same. If you know how to do it right, giving
her oral sex is the fastest and easiest way to give her orgasms. Plus, once you
make her finish through oral sex she�ll be much more responsive during
intercourse � and much more likely to go down on you. Give your girlfriend
plenty of oral sex, and she will love you for it.
Turning her on with your words
Most men are afraid to say anything or make any noise in bed because they�re
afraid the woman will think they�re cheesy or weird. But if they were privy to
these private female conversations, they would know the exact opposite is true.
A woman gets weirded out by a guy who is completely silent in bed, because she
doesn't know whether or not he�s even enjoying it. It�s a turn-off. Think about
it: would you be turned on more by a woman who lay there as silent and still as
a corpse, or a woman who screaming your name in pleasure and telling you she
loved your cock? You need to learn how to be vocal in bed, and how to turn a
woman on through sexual talk.
Using more sexual eye contact
Have you ever had an orgasm while looking into your partners eyes the entire
time? It is one of the most intensely pleasurable experiences you can have. The
sexual eye contact heightens the feelings of pleasure and connection beyond
anything I can describe in words. And any woman who has experienced this before
craves more of it.
Avoid the typical routine of turning off all the lights and just grunting and
pounding away in the dark. Start to work some eye contact into your sexual
encounters, and see how much it turns her on. Of course you have to learn how to
do this in the right way � but once you do, she�ll love it.
Paying attention to her after sex
After sex, she is completely open and vulnerable to you. Most guys squander this
time though by ignoring her after sex, or by just going to sleep. Women don�t
�come down� from sexual pleasure as quickly as men though, so she�s going to
want you to hold her and be close to her while she does. Believe me, she�ll
enjoy sex much more of you just spend a few minutes doing this.
Plus, what most guys don�t know is that after sex is the best time to strengthen
her sexual bond to you, so that she wants to have sex more in the future. If
you�re doing the right things here, you�ll never have to beg and plead for sex
because her sexual bond to you will be so strong she�ll be eager for sex
whenever you want it.
Getting her to perform for you
Men are obsessed with �putting in a good performance� in bed. And to some extent
this is not a bad thing � you do want to give her sexual pleasure and orgasms.
But if you need to be �performing� for her all the time, then this can be a big
turn-off for her. She wants a guy who can also set up situations where she can
perform for him.
For example, almost all women love giving blowjobs if the guy can get her
thinking about them the right way. And if you can get her to �perform� for you
like this � especially if she�s doing something she usually doesn't do for other
guys � it�ll be a huge sexual thrill to her. Think about the rush you get from
giving her a huge orgasm � this is what she�ll experience if you know how bypass
her inhibitions and get her to �perform� for you in bed.
Learning how to give her orgasms
We, as men, typically find it hard to seek out coaching to become better in bed.
Our egos get in the way, and we like to think that we know it all even if our
sex lives could use a lot of improvement. From a woman�s perspective, this
doesn�t make a whole lot of sense. After all, to learn ANY other less important
skill, you would seek out information on how to do it. I mean, would you try to
learn a sport or martial art by just figuring everything out yourself? Or would
you read and watch some things to learn the basics, and get a coach to help you?
This is exactly what women wish you would do in the bedroom. Because no man was
born knowing all the secrets of giving women orgasms, and we all have to learn.
Most men learn the hard way, by arduous trial and error over the course of many
years. And the thing that sucks is � it�s not even guaranteed that you ever get
better learning sexual skills this way. There have been men trying to figure
this stuff out for over 20 years, who are still bad in bed. Then, there are the
smart men who take the shortcut, and become great in bed the easy way.
If you would like to take the �shortcut� to becoming a bedroom legend, I
recommend that you give the Sex God Method a try. It contains all the secrets to
giving women orgasms which I learned over years and years of totally dedicating
my life to sexual improvement.
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Dated 13 April 2015
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