Namita Nayyar:
Your hair is a signature part of your look. What is your philosophy on hair care—is it about products, treatments, or diet? What is a mistake you used to make with your hair that you have since corrected?
Lily Ermak:
My philosophy for hair care is quite simple: I try to minimize damage to my hair and constantly maintain its condition. For many years I have used only sulfate-free shampoos, and I do not wash my hair too often. My hair is naturally not very oily, so this is easy for me. At the same time, hair care is practically a separate ritual for me. I regularly use masks, serums, oils and products for shine. It is important to me not only how my hair looks, but also what condition it is in. Another thing I have been doing for many years is practically never drying my hair with a hairdryer — I let it dry naturally. I sometimes use a straightener, but I try not to overuse hot styling tools.
Namita Nayyar:
You are not a fitness influencer, but you value self-care. What does your holistic approach to “feeling good in your body” look like on a typical week?
Lily Ermak:
I used to be practically obsessed with working out. I had quite an athletic figure, although gaining muscle mass has always been difficult for me because I am naturally very slim. Now I do not exercise as actively as I used to. I have had back problems since I was young, and with age I have become more sensitive to heavy weights. So now I may go to the gym about once a week, mainly to maintain my shape rather than for any serious fitness goals. At the same time, I have never been someone who constantly restricts food because of my figure. I generally eat everything I want.
The only thing is that I do not consume dairy products and choose plant-based alternatives. For me, feeling good is not only about exercise. Sleep, rest, movement and simply being able to stay active throughout the day are important to me. When I feel good, I have an enormous amount of energy. I constantly want to do something, work, film, go somewhere, and take care of my own things. I really cannot sit around doing nothing for very long. I think my approach has simply changed with age. Before, it was important for me to train my body as much as possible, while now it is much more important for me to listen to it and support myself without extremes.
Namita Nayyar:
Watching your 16-year-old son develop his own successful, monetized YouTube channel must be surreal. As a creator yourself, how do you navigate the dynamic of being a mentor versus letting him make his own mistakes?
Lily Ermak:
My son was independent from a very young age. He always knew how to occupy himself. He had his own interests, he could spend hours building huge LEGO sets from the age of three, and he never really asked me to play with him or come up with activities for him. I simply saw this independence and tried not to suppress it. I never dragged him to clubs or activities just because it was something he was supposed to do. It was important to me that the initiative came from him. If a child genuinely wants something, I am always ready to support them. For example, he only started doing sports when he came to it himself, around sixth grade. Before that, I did not force him.
He even chose his school himself at a certain point. He wanted to move to a stronger school with a Cambridge focus, prepared for the entrance requirements himself and achieved that result himself. I was there, but I did not sit over him or do it for him. And the YouTube story was actually funny — his father and I did not even know that he had a channel. He did everything himself and did not tell anyone anything. Only after about a year, when he already had subscribers and had received monetization, did he tell us that he had been developing his channel all that time. Even now, he does not want me to publicly say exactly what his channel is. He wants his audience to be his own and wants to achieve everything he wants himself, and I really respect that. My role now is very different from what it was when he was little. I am no longer so much raising him as being there when he needs advice or direction.
For example, I can help him figure out things related to university applications, but the final decisions remain his. At the same time, I understand that when I became a mother I was very young. I became pregnant at 19 and gave birth at 20. I did not know or understand many things and, of course, I made mistakes. I think this is a natural part of growing up — you learn not only how to raise a child, but you also become an adult yourself alongside them.
And probably the most important thing is that I have always believed in him. Now I see his character and understand that he will build his own life. All I have to do is not get in the way of him becoming the person he wants to be. By the way, I am currently preparing my first original product about the principles of raising an independent and successful child. I do not want to reveal the details yet, but the foundation is my personal philosophy: not to live a child’s life for them, but to create conditions in which they can find their own path.
Namita Nayyar:
You are clearly ambitious, and your son is extremely goal-oriented. Do you think ambition is innate, or is it something that can be “caught” from a parent? How have you intentionally nurtured that in your children?
Lily Ermak:
I think some basic foundation is indeed something a child is born with. All children are different. Each has their own character, temperament, inclinations and abilities. But what happens to these qualities afterward depends very strongly on the environment in which the child grows up. Children are influenced by their parents, their example, the atmosphere in the family and the principles they are taught. And, of course, childhood experiences are also extremely important. Sometimes even our own childhood traumas can influence the kind of person we become. I have thought about this a lot as an adult and gradually worked through my own childhood patterns.
That is why I now consciously try not to repeat some of the mistakes my parents made. I think the desire to achieve something cannot simply be put into a child through words. First and foremost, children look at their parents, so the strongest way to pass something on to them is to show it through your own example. At the same time, it is very important to me to talk a lot with a child, give them the right to choose and allow them to make their own decisions — not simply telling them what is right, but asking: What do you think? Why do you want this? What do you think would happen if you chose another option? I think this is how a person gradually develops the ability to think independently, make decisions and not be afraid to take responsibility for their choices.
Namita Nayyar:
You have a teenager and a young daughter. How does your approach to parenting differ between them, and how do you hope to guide your daughter as she grows up in a world dominated by social media?
Lily Ermak:
My children are completely different, and I think this shows very well why it is impossible to raise all children according to the same template. My son is a Capricorn. He was very calm and independent from childhood. He always had his own interests and understood quite early what he wanted to do. My daughter is an Aries, and she is completely different. She is simply a hurricane. She cannot sit still at all. She is very active, emotional and creative, a real little tiger. She has no idea yet what she wants to do because she likes everything. She likes gymnastics, swimming, music and singing.
We have tried different activities, but so far she only lasts for one class, and I am completely fine with that. I think right now she simply needs to have the opportunity to enjoy being a child. I do not want to rush her or try to decide at four years old what she will become or what she should be doing. Let her try different things, change interests, play and explore. When she is older, I think she will choose for herself what really interests her. And I think it is very important to see the individuality of the child. Even if children grow up in the same family, they can be completely different. My son is also creative, but he has a more pronounced mathematical way of thinking. My daughter is much more emotional and creative, so the approach to them should be different as well. As for social media, I am not afraid of it at all. On the contrary, I think it is a very interesting and powerful tool.
If one day my daughter wants to be public, create content or work in social media, I will only support her. Of course, I will talk to her a lot about safety, how the world works, personal boundaries and what can and cannot be done online. I already talk to her about these things now, although she does not understand everything yet. And it is very important to me to build a strong inner foundation in her from childhood. I always tell her that she is beautiful, wonderful, smart and special, and I will definitely teach her that other people’s opinions should not determine her self-worth.
She should not compare herself to others because every person is an individual. I want her to know that she does not have to become like someone else in order to be valuable — she is already unique. And I definitely will not limit her simply because I am afraid of social media or the modern world. I have never been a parent who forbids everything. I gave my son freedom and trusted him, and I want to do the same with my daughter. I will simply be there, explain things and help her learn to make her own decisions. I think my role as a mother is not to put as many restrictions around a child as possible, but to give them enough knowledge, confidence and inner strength so that one day they can navigate this world on their own.
Disclaimer
The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
