Congratulation for completing the marathon of pregnancy and delivery. What lies ahead is a tough task of parenting, which no doubt is stressful enough and when you both work its even harder. You have to make time for your marriage/sex life.
Most women don’t feel very keen on sex for at least a few weeks after childbirth and the main reason for this is simply exhaustion. If the delivery was long or difficult, the woman may also feel anxious about getting pregnant again.
Generally, women start getting their desire back within a couple of months of having a baby. If your libido doesn’t return, then you should seek help from a doctor. Female medics at family planning clinics are particularly good at helping to deal with this problem because they see it all the time.
Check out these tips for assistance,
- Kegel Exercise– According to the San Francisco Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, a well-toned pubococcygeus muscle improves sexual control and plays a key part in achieving orgasm. Practicing Kegel exercises help strengthen and tone pelvic floor muscles. Stronger PC muscles improve sexual satisfaction, help prevent urinary leaking and speed up healing after birth. Try contracting the PC muscles by pretending you’re a vacuum cleaner and you’re sucking a marble into your vagina or that you’re trying to stop peeing mid-stream. Gradually work up to 20 times per session. Try to do Kegels three times a day, several times a week. You’ll begin noticing changes in less than a month.
- Behave like an old-timer- Bring back the initial lust you felt by revisiting the spots you went to in the beginning of your relationship. At least try to bring back that level of creativity when you go out. Pay full attention to your mate. If you don’t have time for a full-blown lovemaking session, a well-placed caress or kiss can turn up the flame pretty quickly. Re introduce sex into your life by going on a date.
- Drop the guilt of feeling sexy- Get out of your mommy rut with a new, easy beauty routine that will have you feeling good after pregnancy in no time. Take small steps towards getting your sex desires back and ignited after baby, and your after-baby sex life will follow suit. Buy yourself a sexy night wear, feeding bra or stocking, put them on while you are feeling low.
- Get Intimate: Remember, you don’t have to actually have sex to be intimate. Express your love (and desire) in other ways — hold hands, give him a back rub, cuddle on the couch, or kiss him like he’s leaving for a week when he least expects it. And when you do make a stab at the actual act, lots of foreplay and lubrication will definitely help things go more smoothly.
- Try new location – Get busy anywhere but your bed, the dining room, table or back seat of a car to add a spark, try to ditch the bedroom: A new mom might get tired initially that she might fall asleep the minute she hits the bed. Look out for ways to reconnect.
- Look into the cause why you avoid sex- There can be factors like pain during sex, being watched are some reasons why women seem to avoid sex. Experiment and find a position that puts less pressure on any stitches and gives you control over the depth of penetration (this is one time when deeper will definitely not be better).
- Smoothen your Sleep Pattern– A 2002 poll conducted by the National Sleep Foundation found that while there isn’t a direct relationship between sweet dreams and sex, mood is affected by the amount of sleep we get. People who feel tired, stressed, sad or angry — all common when we don’t get about seven to eight hours of sleep a night — are unlikely to be in the mood for sex. Sleep benefits sex and, as it turns out, sex benefits sleep. When you orgasm, your body releases oxytocin, also known as the love hormone, and oxytocin promotes sleep — which you’ll need for having more sex.
- Agree to some nice cuddling and smooching and (as long as the baby doesn’t interrupt) you might find those familiar frisky feelings beginning to bubble to the surface. Women feel that there body is not that attractive (Madonna like )and begin to avoid sex. At this time the husband can make the woman feel beautiful.
- Invest in a great water-based lube and get on with your (sex) life. Your hormones eventually will settle down and everything will return to normal. Choosing the right lubricant comes down to personal preference, and if you haven’t considered a lubricant before, know that they come in a variety of flavors and styles (including warming lubes that boost arousal). For best results, lube early and lube often.